November 12, 2024

TZ is retiring

Greetings Laff Lovers,

After 25 years of writing Laffaday TZ has decided to mosey on off into the sunset. It's been fun trying to figure out how to make you laugh. Especially since we've never met and I never knew how you reacted to the material I selected because I thought it was funny.

I've gotten a lot of email from you all over the years, but the most frequent question from you was always, "Who are you?"

Well, today the mask comes off. I'm not a man in his fifties or sixties...I'm the former Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi!

My job was always so stuffy, but at heart I'm just a girl wanting to have fun. Who knows what's coming next but I guarantee you one thing, we're all going to continue to tax the shit out of you!

So, farewell and be safe! Hug your spouses and be patient with your children... especially since they are going to be the ones picking the shithole of a place where you will spend your twilight years.

Finally,

TZ...I mean Nancy



A businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, all to no avail.

The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked?

"Fifteen bucks," came the reply.

"And how much for you to blow me on the way?"

"What? Get the hell out of my cab!"

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?"

The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks."

The businessman said "OK," and off they went.

Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.



Q: What do you get when you have 10 naked blondes standing on their heads?

A: 10 brunettes.